


Wishful Thinking

by ThatGingerOne



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Heartbreak, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7221571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatGingerOne/pseuds/ThatGingerOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Request: Can you do a Bellamy Blake imagine where him and the reader are friends with benefits. But she stops it because some other guy likes her and she wants something real and it makes Bellamy mad and angry and he keeps it in until he sees see with someone else and just explodes then a bunch a fluff ! Thanks! Loved your John Murphy imagine too</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishful Thinking

I could still feel the warmth of his hands caressing my body. The burn of tree bark scraping against my back in our frenzied race. Where his lips had attached to my neck and left a feverish path nipping across my exposed skin. Ghosts of his fingers digging into my hips steadying the tempo. I could feel him all over me, and I hated it.

 

His speckled face haunted me. Those deep, dark, brooding eyes that had captured my soul without my knowledge. Sculpted like Adonis with wits and determination that matched his looks. Bellamy Blake was many things: a leader, a brother, a warrior, a lover, but he will never be mine. Not in the way that I wanted him. Our agreement was simple. If we needed an itch scratched we had each other covered. Physical need, nothing more, nothing less. At least it was supposed to be that way.

 

Time passed and I found myself needing more than the physical. I wanted to lay in his arms and talk about everything. Tell him how much I loved his courage. How it made me swell with pride to see him lead the camp with Clarke. That he was a great brother; protecting Octavia with all he has, and that his mother would be so proud. So much I could never say because we would never be more than a thing of convenience.

 

Crawling out of bed I haphazardly threw on a tank and shorts. Taking a deep breath I felt the trail of salt water fall off my cheeks onto my shirt. With a broken laugh I rubbed them away reminding myself that I had to do this. No matter how much it hurt, I wanted more, needed more.

Relief hit me when I was greeted to the fresh morning air. Bellamy was nowhere to be seen. The longer I could postpone this the better. Throwing on the best smile I could muster I headed for the dropship hoping that no one would bring up my puffy reddened eyes.

Raven gave me a smile as I entered the tent, “Morning, Y/N . Ready to get lost in the world of broken technology?”

With a sigh I gave a nod, “Might as well be. Better than being stuck with some of the other shitheads.”

Her jaw went slack in mock shock as her hand moved over her heart before letting out a laugh, “You wound me Y/N !”

Unable to contain the small smile that spread across my features I settled on rolling my eyes before grabbing my tools and immersing myself in our latest project.

“Alright, I’m done, we need a break. Come on.”, I jumped in my chair as Raven’s voice broke through the sound of power tools absent minded chatter. Her light chuckle as we exited the tent had me shaking my head in reflex. We walked through the camp talking about nonsensical issues never once bringing up the issue we both knew needed to be dealt with. Moments like these are why Raven had quickly become my confidant.

My mind drifted back to Bellamy eventually. He had invaded the very chemical bases of my being. The burning in the back of my eyes threatened to betray this facade. Pressing the palms of my hands into the soreness of my eyelids I laughed weakly.

“Tell me that I don’t have to do this. That I’m foolish, and everything will work itself out.”

The comforting warmth of Raven’s arms pulled me into her side as she took to combing the knots she found in my hair out. When she spoke her voice was soft yet stern, “You’re hurting. If something hurts you and you can fix it, then you fix it. No matter how hard this is; you know what you need to do.”

Pulling back out of her arms I searched the camp with my eyes roaming the bodies and faces bustling about in search of the stoic owner of my heart. My gaze settled on him as he gave the hunting party their orders. The lump in my throat grew yet again and caught my breath. With a final squeeze of my hands Raven pulled me to my feet. Under my breath I repeated, “You deserve happy.” Nervous was an understatement as I stumbled my way to stand beside Bellamy.

It was childish that I couldn’t even look up at him. The ground was far more comforting than whatever his eyes would trick me into believing. I’m not sure how long I stood there kicking pebbles about, but when I opened my mouth the words fell out in a flood.

“I’m out. This thing, is over. Someone is actually into me and I can’t risk my happiness by passing that up for some stupid agreement that should have never been made. I thought I could handle this, but I was so damn wrong! It never happened, we go back to you not looking at me, and I go back to being happy. Goodbye Bellamy.”

I don’t know what I expected. Him to come after me? Confess his undying love? I guess I just wanted him to tell me it was okay more than anything. That’s what I needed, and so I went to the one who could give me that.

»»Two Weeks Later ««

“Okay, time for gossip. I need details on you and Monty, now!”

“Ooooh, yes!”

“Spill! Spill!”

Heat rushed up my neck settling over my cheeks at the girls badgering. Groaning my protest I turned to face Octavia, Raven, and Terra.

“What do you want me to say? There’s not much to tell, other than cuddling and a few kisses here and there, we haven’t done anything worthy of gossip.”

Raven pelted me with fallen leaves and dirt, “Booooo!”

“We all know why you and Monty are nothing more. You’re still in love with my idiot brother and Monty’s too good of a guy to push you for more.”

“Octavia!” Terra gave me an apologetic smile, “What O means, is that Monty knows how you feel about Bellamy. Everyone but Bellamy himself does. You don’t have to say anything to us. Just know that Monty would never hold this against you. Talk to him.”

With that she pulled Raven and Octavia away leaving me terrified and looking at the gentle face of Monty. I tried to speak, but words were lost. Surely I looked like a fish who couldn’t move, opening and closing my mouth incessantly.

“You love him?”

Giving up on finding my words I settled for a hesitant nod.

“Do you love me?”

I sent him a frantic nod as the tears welled into my eyes.

“Are you in love with him?”

My small nod sent the tears sliding down my face pooling down my chin and neck.

“Are y-you in love with me?”

Hearing the fear and disappointment in Monty’s fragile voice gave me back my words. “You make me happy. I know I always have you there and nothing else matters. I need you, Monty.”

Turning his head away he let out a shaky breath, “I’ll always be here for you, but you know that this isn’t where your heart is. It’s okay Y/N I’ve already forgiven you.”

I didn’t hear him walk away. I don’t know when my tears began to mix with the rain, or when I had no more tears to give. I do remember the cold. Earth shattering and so full of heartbreaking clarity, the cold was a comfort. I don’t remember how I made my way to his tent. I don’t recall what I said. I do know how he rushed to me and scooped me into his arms.

He made quick work of peeling away the heavy fabric that was now clinging to my skin. Unlike so many times before this was an act of compassion and care. He cradled me as if I would shatter from his calloused hands. Gentle as he could be he redressed me into his warmest clothing before tucking me into his side under the obsolete blankets. His legs entwined in mine as we lay there mesmerized in this moment of intimacy we’d never had before. The once rich soil of his eyes now looked dim and encased with redness. His skin looked paler, worn. The vibrant splashes of dark mocha that littered his cheeks and nose seemed fainter as if fleeting in every moment.

The man before me was no man, but a broken version of the one I’d walked away from. Bellamy Blake no longer held himself as a warrior guarded to the nine. Instead his appearance made me wonder if he’d carried the same expression when he was a child and feared for his sister. So much that I never knew was there now lay upon the surface settled into the silence between us. He was the first to speak as he drew patterns on the outside of shoulder.

“I, I need you. I can’t be who they want me to be without you. Holding you, hell just seeing you gives me fuel to keep going on. When you walked away I should have fought for you. Letting you go is a mistake I can’t afford to make again. It’s been so hard to stop myself from sneaking into your tent to hold you. To not tell you that I miss your smile, how you always listen to my rambling and you actually care about every person in this camp. You’re too good for me. Someone like me will only get you hurt. It’s all I’m good for.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he let go of all he had held in. Sobs wracked through his body shaking me in his grasp. The splashes of his tears felt like fire on my cold skin. I did all I knew to do. I held him. Wrapped him into my frame as I placed kisses to the crook of his neck all the while whispering the comforting words I could find. When the only sounds between us returned to our heavy shallow breathing I pulled his face into my hands erasing the hot trails staining his cheeks.

“You are good. Mistakes have been made, and there will always be more to be made. That’s life. You fight through them and do everything in your power to make the right call.. You do not give up. Bellamy Blake was raised to be a leader. You’ve made your mother and O proud.”

Hesitantly I placed a chaste kiss onto his lips; pulling back as quickly as I had made contact. Too afraid to look into his eyes or to even speak of the electricity flowing through my lips, I settled on another kiss. This time with more conviction. It was a familiar act, but completely new all the same. In the past our kisses were nothing more than a battle for dominance however this one said every word we feared setting free. We broke apart an eternity later with bated breath. Our beating hearts slowed into a steady rhythm matching the other as we lay together. Minds, bodies, souls as one.

Fighting sleep I uttered one fleeting confession,“You’ve always had me, Bell, I never let you go.”

I swore that the sharp intake of breath and the whispered ‘thank you’ were nothing more than wishful thinking.


End file.
